I find comfort in comparing my human self to nature. Thinking of emotions like weather, ever changing and unpredictable. The ocean is a good example. Some days things are calm, clear sailing. Other days there is a bit of sway. Occasionally a storm hits and everything turns to chaos, but when the storm is over, all is calm once again.
When it comes to my mental health, and my (overly) emotional self, I have found it very helpful to remember that things are ever changing. Much like the weather, emotions come and go and are constantly changing. Storms hit, but they pass. Beautiful blissful sunny days come, but they to pass.
It’s not possible to maintain one stable emotion all the time, just as it isn’t possible for the weather to stay the same. However, a summer drought can make us appreciate the rain when it comes, and the bright blue sky seems extra awe inspiring after an extended period of dreary grey skies. I have come to accept that we need to experience both ends of the spectrum, to truly appreciate one or the other.
I have had several conversations with people who experience intense emotions, and we relate on the fact that our dark moments have taught us to really appreciate and see the good moments.
Without the dark, would we know the light? With out struggle, distress, chaos, would we understand the greatness of joy, bliss, and order? Maybe. But I do know that if you really feel the bad experiences deeply, then you also get to really feel the good experiences deeply.
Sometimes I hate it, and I curse the world for it. I think, “I wish I could just be more neutral. I wish I didn’t feel everything so much”. But, this is who I am. I feel a lot. When its good its really good, and when its bad, its really bad.
Anyway, the point of me writing this is to bring attention to the idea that emotions come and go. It is so important to remind yourself of this when you are experiencing the bad. It is also exceptionally hard to remind yourself of this when you are in a bad state.
Last night an emotional storm hit me. The day was really good, but out of no where, a storm came. Things got really bad. Chaos, confusion, overwhelm, hopelessness. I didn’t know what to do, or where to turn, or who to reach out to. I sat with it. I didnt give in to my urges to harm myself. Eventually I went to bed, and by morning the storm had passed.
It’s scary when these storms hit, because it is in these moments when you are most vulnerable to impulsive and destructive behaviours. For me, these emotional waves have been hitting since I was in my early teens. I am pretty used to them, though I am just now being able to recognize them for what they are. I still get completely absorbed by them and feel out of control. It’s only been as of very recently that I can grasp on to enough clarity amongst the chaos, to tell myself that it will pass.
I don’t have any one thing that helps me get through the storms. Different things work at different times. The main thing I have to do is keep reminding myself that it will pass. Even though I don’t believe it, just keep telling myself it. Eventually it does pass, and then my reason says, “see I told you it would pass”. pffffft. :p
So, I just want to remind anyone who struggles with emotional storms, that THE STORMS PASS! Do what you can during these times of chaos. Seek shelter from the storm. Keep busy until the storm passes. Find support. Just hold on until its over.