There is now a private facebook group for anyone interested in joining!
It is intended to be a support group for people interested in sharing resources and discussing things such as mental health, creativity, existential crisis, and more.
The group is made private, opposed to the public page, to help encourage you to feel comfortable sharing your ideas and expressing yourself in a safe space. Anyone who is a part of the group, is there because they want to be, so we most likely will all have a similar motive :)
All you have to do is visit this link, and send a request. Once you are a member, you can also invite other people to join.
Hope to see you in the group. It is just getting started :)
I wanted to share a little “progress story”. It’s nice when you start to notice in which ways you are actually progressing and getting better at life.
I have a tendency to talk myself out of doing almost anything that involves leaving my home haven. In the past I could justify it more easily, but now I know the positive impact that going out and doing things has on my mood, so I try to challenge myself when I start making excuses.
Yesturday I was really lethargic, and I started to feel frustrated and sad because of it. I was just sitting on the couch staring at nothing wishing I could muster up some motivation to do something. Out of the blue I got a message from my cousin inviting me to go for a walk with her and her dog down to the lake.
"What fun!" most people might think, but I know in the past I would have found an excuse not to go since I was feeling so tired and shitty. I knew however that if I made myself do it, most likely I would feel better, so I did it.
The real progress I noticed was my willingness to do it when the opportunity arose. I didn’t even really question it or try to make an excuse, I just said yes and went. It makes me happy to see that, because I was such a “no” person before. I’ve been trying really hard to challenge myself with that though and say “yes” more to invitations and spontaneous opportunities.
I guess the moral of the story is that forming new habits is hard work at first, but it starts to become easier the more you do it. We all know that, but it’s hard to feel it when you are just starting out. Keep at it and eventually it will start to stick! I promise ;)
A little added bonus was the opportunity to take some nice photos ;)
Do you ever notice your mind wandering into the comparison zone?
The comparison zone is a dangerous place. It can cause you to feel inferior and unhappy with who you are, as well as feel critical and resentful toward others.
Nothing good really comes of it. Feeling better off or worse off then someone is not helpful to your wellbeing.
It can be hard not to do it though. Our society encourages it all the time. There are lists of the most attractive or important people, parents or teachers comparing you to your siblings or your peers, competitive television shows, social media showing you what everyone else is doing with their lives, hierarchies in the work place and the family, and of course issues around class, race, gender, age, sexuality etc.
Everywhere we look there is something reminding us to compare ourselves to others and to figure out where we fit on some spectrum of worthiness.
This is harmful. We are all worthwhile simply because we are here and alive on this planet.
One thing I always try to remind myself is that no one is any better or any worse. We are all unique and one of a kind. We all have a different perspective to offer and experiences to share.
I struggle with the comparison plague often. I feel inadequate and inferior all the time. I find myself feeling envious of what others have, and wishing I was different. Then I remember, there is no use in those thoughts. They are wasted energy. I am fine. You are fine. We can both coexist and we can both succeed in the world.
When it comes to comparing yourself to others, try to instead acknowledge the feelings you are having and talk yourself through them. Maybe you are feeling threatened by someone else’s successes, or maybe you are feeling less important. Whatever it is, try to remind yourself of the things that are good about your life, and recognize your own personal successes.
Try to refrain from comparing what you have or don’t have, to what someone else has or doesn’t have. Even better, try to take your ego out of the equation, and just be happy for someone else. In turn, you will actually feel better about yourself.
It’s an interesting mirrored effect that happens. When you are more supportive toward others, you are more supportive toward yourself. When you are less judgemental of others, you are less judgemental of yourself.
It’s hard work, so be easy on yourself. We are conditioned to think this way. It’s not easy to change for the better. Baby steps. Little teeny tiny turtle steps.
I’ve always liked this quote when I am thinking about change:
“two steps forward, one step back”
(“Two steps forward one step back…” is a catchphrase reflecting on an anecdote about a frog trying to climb out of a water well; for every two steps the frog climbs, it falls back by one step, making its progress arduous. ~wikipedia )
This quote by Kurt Cobain is also fitting:
"to wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are"
~ Crystal ~